How To punish your Submissive Correctly
How To Punish Your Submissive
When it comes to punishments, it's important to keep a few things in mind
Punishments are to be practiced in a safe, sane and consensual manner
All Punishments are to be discussed and agreed on before ever doled out with that being said, here are 6 principles of Discipline Etiquette
6 principles of Discipline Etiquette
1 We should not carry a punishment out in anger
2 A punishment should not break your submissive’s' hard limits
3 We carry out punishments when an inexcusable action has been taken that grants a equal measure of punishment
4. We may put a punishment in place, when the relationship has been hindered, a Punishment is given so that we can wipe the slate clean. Discipline is then reinforced. As spoken about here
5. The submissive may request a punishment be put in place. To correct an unwanted action or behavior they want to correct within themself.
6. A punishment is a consequence that doesn’t derive pleasure from either party;instead, it grants mercy to the one who broke the rules, and it wipes the slate clean when the punishment is carried out and fulfilled by the Submissive. Allowing both the Dom and Submissive to begin again.
Punishments May Be Given For Mistakes.
Submissive's are only human after all and just like Dom’s we all make mistakes. Your Submissive may break protocol or a rule. They may disobey, wittingly, or unwittingly. They may make errors in judgment. Or they fail to meet expectations for an assignment or task.
I’ve previously discussed that punishment/discipline should NEVER, ever be carried out in anger. Yelling at a submissive is NOT a dominant trait. Instead, it's a sign of lack of control and self discipline.
We teach the behavior we desire through empowerment and repetition. Leading by example is how we teach. We teach by treating them with respect and dignity as a human being first. Together, we are creating a beautiful exchange of power through the art of submission and dominance.
When the submissive has earned a punishment, they must also have a discussion. Not a lecture, not a silent treatment. Instead, an actual discussion on what they did incorrectly, whether behavioral or by action or inaction.
The Dominant must inform their submissive what they are being disciplined or corrected for.
The Dominant must allow the submissive to give a reason for their behavior or action. Without this step, the submissive can only assume why they are being punished.
It’s improper practice to deny your submissive fair reasoning and fair waiver if noted based on the explanation for their behavior. Allowing them to learn and grow through trust, love and communication.
You should state to your submissive what the punishment is for and the severity of the punishment they will receive. You should discuss the (Number of stokes/lashes/timeframe) with your submissive so they understand completely what is happening and why.
Communication is an INTEGRAL part of BDSM.
These discussions are important for ALL Submissives, especially for the beginner, because they need the most guidance and patience while they learn new disciplines.
We grow as they grow!
We, as Dominants, want our submissive to improve to become who they have told us they desire to be, have and do, as our submissive. If we fail to express any displeasure we may have, we allow them to keep earring through no fault of their own, instead the fault lies in failure to communicate one’s likes and dislikes openly and honestly.
It's important that your submissive is in complete and total agreement with using punishment as a form of discipline that they too believe will help them achieve their goals in life
